“I have come to believe
That caring for myself
Is not self-indulgent
Caring for myself
Is an act of survival.” Audre Lorde
Cognitive Restructuring, Surrender, Retreat, Rest and Relaxation. Time Out, Closed, Psychic Battery Recharge, Treatment, Havana Health Spa, Stay-cation, meditation, or chakra realignment…whatever you want to name it, the need to get quiet was upon me for quite a few days running. The townhouse got a good spring scrubbing, and seasonal go over of the maintenance completed. A family birthday celebrated,
Stack of books bedside
Hikes, naps, and large quantities of hot spearmint scented bath water.
Temporary severing contact with Chris Matthews, Dianne Rehm, Gwen and Judy. Thinking I may avoid them until after the November Election Cycle. Binge watching The Last Detective in that hour gaps, Dangerous Davies and Mod Lewis my news hours best friends. Sunday New York Times lingered over for several days.
My ‘camera as companion’ bond is feeling normal. Milkweed Bugs on Bindweed Blooms, Tourists glide by the kitchen window early in the morning, the mesquite tree blossoms, first hummingbird shows at the new windowsill feeder. These are my days. This is what we (the camera and I) saw:
Time with a photo and journal archiving project that has me attempting to organize a lifetime of photos and writings stashed in liquor boxes, file cabinets, and shoe boxes. Trunks, envelopes, folders, computer files, frames, albums, between book pages, and at the bottom of dresser drawers…their varied safe keeping indicators of the stability of the particular time period in a long lifetime. Surprises, recollections, so much in the photos. Material for Connors Reach shows up just in time to resuscitate the gasping muse.
Seeing so many photos and perusing so many years of journals, seeing clearly and knowing I should have trusted earlier and more deeply in the Universe/God wanting nothing but the best for me and that difficult periods were transient situations I was involved in, the situation was not who I was. Never got too comfortable with bad times, and always was determined to do better, but boy did I white knuckle it through some of those changes, I now know, unnecessarily. It’s good to see that the majority of the photos and journals reflect an excellent life.
And oh, the importance of self care. Of adequate rest and periods of renewal. “You burn your candle at both ends, Sputnik.” my Father used to scold me. I both learned that burn pace of life from him, and learned it’s dangers, when he passed too soon. The quality of my work, play, relationships, spirit, and lifestyle all improved dramatically when I learned the importance of going quiet and self care.
Events long past, captured in fading photos, and scribbled pages. To zip drives, clouds, and digital photo frames this most excellent life of mine goes. Sweet Terry and I sharing a lot of laughter as much of the story these treasures express, is his story too.
Playtime with the Pic Monkey, watching each sunrise, sunset, and phase of the moon. I return to you today energized, curious about what everyone is currently sharing, and feeling renewed in my desire to create.
Peace to each and every one.
Today’s Music: Fiona Apple “Container” ..theme from The Affair